Thoughts forever

Recently when i went to tirupati to visit my parents, i saw many movies :) one them happened to me this movie...Aakasamantha...

The movie is about a relationship between a father and her daughter. For the first time i liked Tirsha (the actress who plays the daughter).

The movie is all about how a father always guides his daughter in every step she takes in her life, right from when she is born..It is a normal story in any family and that is what i think is gonna make the movie be in stands for sometime.

There are some dialogues of Prakash Raj (The actor who plays the father) which are intersting and some times you tend to think on those lines...I am not sure whether all of them are there in the movie or not cause for everysong in the CD there is some intro before the song starts.

One of the song intro is as below:

Ask yourself or anybody, when did you last run out of your house when its raining to get wet in the rain? I think 95% of us will answer in the childhood...Why don't we go out to just get wet like we use to run in the childhood? The rain is still the same, it comes every year the same way but now when rain comes why do we run into the house instead running out?

Nature also teaches us. It gives us a chance every year to become a kid and enjoy, but we don't and why?
Answer...You know..Don't you...

At the end of the movie one of the character in the movie asks Prakash Raj about why did he do so? and he answers..."When ever a child is born, a father is also born along with the child, but most of the times child grows up but the father still remains a child".

I think he said it right...Half of the time we even feel that why can't our fathers or mothers understand us..Now we call it generation gap thinking that they are old...But this movie says Generation gap cause you have grown up... :)

A nice movie and teaches many things...See it if you understand telugu... :)

Priya.

The story is all about a gril Emma who spells out all her secrets to a stranger on a plane...The next day morning that stranger happens to be the founder of the company she is working for...and what happens next is for you to read....

As i finished this book i felt, that Emma had no big secrets in life to hide... she did not share with anybody is because of the situation...When she was on that turbulent plane she said all that, she never said to anybody ..coz she thought that she is not going to survive....

The way we all live our life...we have many things to say and share but we just don't do that coz of the situation, and some times coz because we think that the other person cannot understand what we felt...or for some other reason..and when it comes to the end it becomes a secret and then we always try and protect it and when ever a situation comes where we tend to say that or we feel that it will some how come out we start moving away from that......

This book connects to the readers since it happens with every one of us...

what Jack did was also right.....He helped her to find herself in some way...He helped her reveal those secrets to persons who should know them...and showed her that these things in life are not all that big.....Overall a good book and a nice story.

For a light read going to pick up "Confessions of a Shopaholic" by the same author...

Enjoy,
Priya.

Wondering why this topic all of a sudden...!!! Just a small experience of my life...

Long back i have undergone a operation..Its not about remembering the bad days or what pain I have gone through but when i think about it, i feel i had some lessons for life from that operation....

Even today when i look back at the complete journey (which of course is not yet done) i have mixed feelings about it...Some of course negative and some positive..and every time i think about it i give my best to retain only the positive feelings...

To be frank there was no body from my family who motivated or was filling courage into me...Every time i discussed i had standard questions....You decided for this...didn't you? Did you inquire about it properly? How much is the time frame for you to recover? When can you meet guys for marriage after all this like in a month?...At that point i decided forget about who is motivating who is filling courage...I will build it on my own...

First lesson...Do not wait for anybody in this world to do anything...its your life and whoever it is there are not gonna do anything....they are just looking at you with their parameters which is not wrong..so move on do it for yourself....

There were friends who stood by they always supported and they were there when operation also took place...But some times I use to get so irritated with braces and use to breakdown when i cant eat anything...They even did not know what to do...Days went by and then the final day got fixed..July 4th (American Independence Day)...I called up home to say this and they said fine....I called up almost everyone with me and some of them said take care some said we will be there and some said fine....I felt that no body is understanding whats going inside me they are not even speaking to me for some more time, at the end of the day i went to meet my doctor...he said...Do not think about anybody else..You will have to build it up on your own and you will have to face it....

Second Lesson: Anybody in your life will not be there to understand how you are feeling the only thing that is required is work done..."Is it done...Fine".."not done...Why not done?"

The Final Day: I was in a confused state of everything..getting ready for operation (wear these set of clothes, take a pill, tie your hair this way, all the things that nurse was instructing me)...At the end when i was being taken to the theater i waited that some one would pat my shoulder and say "Go on...come back with smiles" no one did that...when i was waiting in the recovery room I was wondering...that whatever the reason might be i opted for it and then i did everything from A to Z everyone is happy that i am getting it done...but why that no body is interested in standing by...I wondered that if i would have resisted for anything of the process they would have said...."I knew you cant stand for it, you took a wrong decision, i told you its a pain which you cant stand" since i was not resisting anything...the statements change...But why not encourage that thing and stand by....

Lesson 3: For anything that you have decided in your life..there might not be anybody to appreciate when you succeed but for sure there would be 100's to criticize...and that's the way the world is...So when you fall remember that the only person who is there with you is YOU....They might do something for you but then in their own way so accept that, be yourself and move on....

Even today when i look back at the whole journey i remember some things...Mangesh (guy who was operated along with me) his courage...My doctor telling me that "you were motivated enough that we could do our job perfectly"...Shalini introducing me to a patient saying "Learn courage from her"...some times i feel its that the outside world which recognizes you but people who were with you for entire life never say anything...that might be because they have accepted you...and they think that you understand them...

The process is not yet over but i have recovered back and now living a normal life...But some times i still feel that some of them are still not understanding what is left after operation is more important to handle than what is over...and this is exactly what my doctor told me the first day i met her..."Its easy to take this decision and getting it done but its difficult to take after it is over" and she of course is true... :)


Everything in life teaches you something...Even a person who drives you crazy shows you where your limits are...So i learned from this too and now i am in a full swing of putting all those in my life and enjoying it...

Priya.

Why is that attachment is so important in life...why can't we just be caring and loving with out developing attachment...

When I was a kid, One day i asked my dad that why do we keep changing places every two years..I have friends here and i am happy with this place..i love my room and the city too..He answered me saying that my job demands moving places and its good for us....he told me that you should be loving this place with out actually developing attachment towards it...At the age i wondered whether it would be possible that you can love some thing and never get attached to it and i felt that it would not be possible...but as i grew up i actually learned from him that yes you can love with out getting attached to it....and my own personal experiences and family taught me that it is necessary to be like that.

But why does this world demand an attachment...Leave people, we get attached to the places too...I always thank my dad's job for this that we are never attached to any place...and to my surprise today some body asks for a permanent address i say i don't have one where i have lived for ages...It seems strange to people...but this thing has given me the strength and ability to love everything but would never get attached with that and it actually met all the demands of the people around me...

Now no attachment does not mean that i don't actually love any body and will not be there for anybody..but the basic point is if you love some body and care for some body you need not get attached to that person and be with him/her always...its ok even if they are not around..even if they don't express that they love you...its just that the other person around you should know you and understand your unexpressed love and feel it...that is called as eternal love...with no attachments and free from everything....

Over time, we all gather a set of constricting habits around us — ones that trap us in a zone of supposed comfort, well below what our potential would allow us to attain. Pretty soon, such habits slip below the level of our consciousness, but they still determine what we think that we can and cannot do — and what we cannot even bring ourselves to try. As long as you let these habits rule you, you will be stuck in a rut.

Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around your mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside you think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if you’re to develop in any direction from where you are today, you must go outside that reef of habits that marks the boundaries of your comfort zone. There’s no other way. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits as such. They probably worked for you in the past. But now it's time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Your fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep you inside.

Nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life. Despite all the helpful advice from parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong. Messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if you get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few tried and true behaviours, you will miss out on most opportunities as well. Lots of people who suffer from boredom at work are doing it to themselves. They are bored and frustrated because that’s what their choices have caused them to be. They are stuck in ruts they dug for themselves while trying to avoid making mistakes and taking risks. People who never make mistakes never make anything else either.

It’s time to pin down the habits that have become unconscious and are running your life for you, and get rid of them. Here’s how to do it: Understand the truth about your habits. They always represent past successes. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviours because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response next time, and found it worked again. That’s how habits grow and why they feel so useful.

To get away from what’s causing your unhappiness and workplace blues, you must give up on many of your most fondly held habits and try new ways of thinking and acting. There truly isn’t any alternative. Those habits are going to block you from finding new and creative ideas. No new ideas, no learning. No learning, no access to successful change.

Do something differently and see what happens. Even the most successful habits eventually lose their usefulness as events change the world and fresh responses are called for. Yet we cling on to them long after their benefit has gone. Past strategies are bound to fail sometime. Letting them become automatic habits that take the controls is a sure road to self-inflicted harm.

Take some time out and have a detailed look at yourself — with no holds barred. Discovering your unconscious habits can be tough. For a start, they are unconscious, right? Then they fight back. Ask anyone who has ever given up smoking if habits are tough to break. You've got used to them and they are at least as addictive as nicotine or crack cocaine.

Be who you are. It’s easy to assume that you always have to fit in to get on in the world; that you must conform to be liked and respected by others or face exclusion. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they aren’t, deep down.

You need to start by putting yourself first. You are unique. We are all unique, so saying this doesn’t suggest that you are better than others or deserve more than they do. You need to put yourself first because no one else has as much interest in your life as you do; and because if you don’t, no one else will. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, not ignoring them totally. Keeping up a selfimage can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic one is a curse. Give yourself a break.

Slow down and let go. Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring people. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it isn’t. Reality is complex. We can’t function at all without constant input and support from other people. Everything we have, everything we have learned, came to us through someone else’s hands. At our best, we pass on this borrowed existence to others, enhanced by our contribution. At our worst, we waste and squander it. So recognise that you are a rich mixture of thoughts and feelings that come and go, some useful, some not. There’s no need to keep up a façade; no need to pretend; no need to fear of what you know to be true.

When you face your own truth, you’ll find it’s an enormous relief. If you are maybe not as wonderful as you'd like to be, you aren’t nearly as bad as you fear either. The truth really does set you free; free to work on being better and to forgive yourself for being human; free to express your gratitude to others and recognise what you owe them; free to acknowledge your feelings without letting them dominate your life. Above all, you will be free to understand the truth of living: that much of what happens to you is no more than chance. It can’t be avoided and is not your fault. There’s no point in beating yourself up about it.

What is holding you in situations and actions that no longer work for you often isn’t inertia or procrastination. It’s the power of habitual ways of seeing the world and thinking about events. Until you can let go of those old, worn-out habits, they’ll continue to hold you prisoner. To stay in your comfort zone through mere habit, or to stay there because of irrational fears of what may lie outside, will condemn you to a life of frustration and regret.

There's a marvellous world out there. You'll see, if you try it.

"To stay in your comfort zone because of fears of what may lie outside will condemn you to a life of regret" - Adrian Savage

This is some thing that i have been thinking on for past so many years...SAY...SAY THOSE WORDS which you want to...why don't we do that...What actually stops us from doing that....When ever i think of it...i remember a dialogue from movie " My Best Friends Wedding"...its in the clip here...the starting of the clip the guy says them...listen to them...

This is a clip which says about love...forget love...why don't we say words...which the other person might be awaiting...

To our friends, to our colleagues, to a road side vendor...When ever we have a argument with anybody, let it be parents, friends, colleagues, subordinates, bossses, the best way we choose is either to keep quiet or move away.....why move away...why do we say afterwards...why not right then at that point of time? I get amazed when people say "he/she is angry they won't understand what you say right now, so lets speak later" don't you think that they not understanding might be your fault...I mean tommorow you return to your work might not find that person forever..that might be his last day...he might have met with an accident yesterday...then what postpone it more...call him? Don't you think by the time you actually speak the other person might have lost interest in listening to you, cause he has made up his mind that you never wanted to say anything....

I had a situtation where i repent even today one chance please...but i know i will never get it...cause i lost that person forever...So now i make a point...i feel bad..i say it that i feel bad..happy express it...anger..show it....u want to shout...shout...do it then and there...you never know what would happen the next moment...as said in the clip "the moment passes by"

Dont let it pass by..Speak speak at that moment...let the other person be there...dont let that time go...You will never get a second chance to say some thing...speak when you get the chance...Say...say those words which are deep with in you...it helps...believe me it works...