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Thoughts forever
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Over time, we all gather a set of constricting habits around us — ones that trap us in a zone of supposed comfort, well below what our potential would allow us to attain. Pretty soon, such habits slip below the level of our consciousness, but they still determine what we think that we can and cannot do — and what we cannot even bring ourselves to try. As long as you let these habits rule you, you will be stuck in a rut.
Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around your mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside you think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if you’re to develop in any direction from where you are today, you must go outside that reef of habits that marks the boundaries of your comfort zone. There’s no other way. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits as such. They probably worked for you in the past. But now it's time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Your fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep you inside.
Nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life. Despite all the helpful advice from parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong. Messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if you get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few tried and true behaviours, you will miss out on most opportunities as well. Lots of people who suffer from boredom at work are doing it to themselves. They are bored and frustrated because that’s what their choices have caused them to be. They are stuck in ruts they dug for themselves while trying to avoid making mistakes and taking risks. People who never make mistakes never make anything else either.
It’s time to pin down the habits that have become unconscious and are running your life for you, and get rid of them. Here’s how to do it: Understand the truth about your habits. They always represent past successes. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviours because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response next time, and found it worked again. That’s how habits grow and why they feel so useful.
To get away from what’s causing your unhappiness and workplace blues, you must give up on many of your most fondly held habits and try new ways of thinking and acting. There truly isn’t any alternative. Those habits are going to block you from finding new and creative ideas. No new ideas, no learning. No learning, no access to successful change.
Do something differently and see what happens. Even the most successful habits eventually lose their usefulness as events change the world and fresh responses are called for. Yet we cling on to them long after their benefit has gone. Past strategies are bound to fail sometime. Letting them become automatic habits that take the controls is a sure road to self-inflicted harm.
Take some time out and have a detailed look at yourself — with no holds barred. Discovering your unconscious habits can be tough. For a start, they are unconscious, right? Then they fight back. Ask anyone who has ever given up smoking if habits are tough to break. You've got used to them and they are at least as addictive as nicotine or crack cocaine.
Be who you are. It’s easy to assume that you always have to fit in to get on in the world; that you must conform to be liked and respected by others or face exclusion. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they aren’t, deep down.
You need to start by putting yourself first. You are unique. We are all unique, so saying this doesn’t suggest that you are better than others or deserve more than they do. You need to put yourself first because no one else has as much interest in your life as you do; and because if you don’t, no one else will. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, not ignoring them totally. Keeping up a selfimage can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic one is a curse. Give yourself a break.
Slow down and let go. Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring people. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it isn’t. Reality is complex. We can’t function at all without constant input and support from other people. Everything we have, everything we have learned, came to us through someone else’s hands. At our best, we pass on this borrowed existence to others, enhanced by our contribution. At our worst, we waste and squander it. So recognise that you are a rich mixture of thoughts and feelings that come and go, some useful, some not. There’s no need to keep up a façade; no need to pretend; no need to fear of what you know to be true.
When you face your own truth, you’ll find it’s an enormous relief. If you are maybe not as wonderful as you'd like to be, you aren’t nearly as bad as you fear either. The truth really does set you free; free to work on being better and to forgive yourself for being human; free to express your gratitude to others and recognise what you owe them; free to acknowledge your feelings without letting them dominate your life. Above all, you will be free to understand the truth of living: that much of what happens to you is no more than chance. It can’t be avoided and is not your fault. There’s no point in beating yourself up about it.
What is holding you in situations and actions that no longer work for you often isn’t inertia or procrastination. It’s the power of habitual ways of seeing the world and thinking about events. Until you can let go of those old, worn-out habits, they’ll continue to hold you prisoner. To stay in your comfort zone through mere habit, or to stay there because of irrational fears of what may lie outside, will condemn you to a life of frustration and regret.
There's a marvellous world out there. You'll see, if you try it.
"To stay in your comfort zone because of fears of what may lie outside will condemn you to a life of regret" - Adrian Savage
Like the tiny, soft bodied creatures that build coral reefs, habits start off small and flexible, and end up by building massive barriers of rock all around your mind. Inside the reefs, the water feels quiet and friendly. Outside you think it’s going to be rough and stormy. There may be sharks. But if you’re to develop in any direction from where you are today, you must go outside that reef of habits that marks the boundaries of your comfort zone. There’s no other way. There’s even nothing specially wrong with those habits as such. They probably worked for you in the past. But now it's time to step over them and go into the wider world of your unused potential. Your fears don’t know what’s going to be out there, so they invent monsters and scary beasts to keep you inside.
Nobody’s born with an instruction manual for life. Despite all the helpful advice from parents, teachers and elders, each of us must make our own way in the world, doing the best we can and quite often getting things wrong. Messing up a few times isn’t that big a deal. But if you get scared and try to avoid all mistakes by sticking with just a few tried and true behaviours, you will miss out on most opportunities as well. Lots of people who suffer from boredom at work are doing it to themselves. They are bored and frustrated because that’s what their choices have caused them to be. They are stuck in ruts they dug for themselves while trying to avoid making mistakes and taking risks. People who never make mistakes never make anything else either.
It’s time to pin down the habits that have become unconscious and are running your life for you, and get rid of them. Here’s how to do it: Understand the truth about your habits. They always represent past successes. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviours because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response next time, and found it worked again. That’s how habits grow and why they feel so useful.
To get away from what’s causing your unhappiness and workplace blues, you must give up on many of your most fondly held habits and try new ways of thinking and acting. There truly isn’t any alternative. Those habits are going to block you from finding new and creative ideas. No new ideas, no learning. No learning, no access to successful change.
Do something differently and see what happens. Even the most successful habits eventually lose their usefulness as events change the world and fresh responses are called for. Yet we cling on to them long after their benefit has gone. Past strategies are bound to fail sometime. Letting them become automatic habits that take the controls is a sure road to self-inflicted harm.
Take some time out and have a detailed look at yourself — with no holds barred. Discovering your unconscious habits can be tough. For a start, they are unconscious, right? Then they fight back. Ask anyone who has ever given up smoking if habits are tough to break. You've got used to them and they are at least as addictive as nicotine or crack cocaine.
Be who you are. It’s easy to assume that you always have to fit in to get on in the world; that you must conform to be liked and respected by others or face exclusion. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they aren’t, deep down.
You need to start by putting yourself first. You are unique. We are all unique, so saying this doesn’t suggest that you are better than others or deserve more than they do. You need to put yourself first because no one else has as much interest in your life as you do; and because if you don’t, no one else will. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, not ignoring them totally. Keeping up a selfimage can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic one is a curse. Give yourself a break.
Slow down and let go. Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring people. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it isn’t. Reality is complex. We can’t function at all without constant input and support from other people. Everything we have, everything we have learned, came to us through someone else’s hands. At our best, we pass on this borrowed existence to others, enhanced by our contribution. At our worst, we waste and squander it. So recognise that you are a rich mixture of thoughts and feelings that come and go, some useful, some not. There’s no need to keep up a façade; no need to pretend; no need to fear of what you know to be true.
When you face your own truth, you’ll find it’s an enormous relief. If you are maybe not as wonderful as you'd like to be, you aren’t nearly as bad as you fear either. The truth really does set you free; free to work on being better and to forgive yourself for being human; free to express your gratitude to others and recognise what you owe them; free to acknowledge your feelings without letting them dominate your life. Above all, you will be free to understand the truth of living: that much of what happens to you is no more than chance. It can’t be avoided and is not your fault. There’s no point in beating yourself up about it.
What is holding you in situations and actions that no longer work for you often isn’t inertia or procrastination. It’s the power of habitual ways of seeing the world and thinking about events. Until you can let go of those old, worn-out habits, they’ll continue to hold you prisoner. To stay in your comfort zone through mere habit, or to stay there because of irrational fears of what may lie outside, will condemn you to a life of frustration and regret.
There's a marvellous world out there. You'll see, if you try it.
"To stay in your comfort zone because of fears of what may lie outside will condemn you to a life of regret" - Adrian Savage
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Thoughts forever
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This is some thing that i have been thinking on for past so many years...SAY...SAY THOSE WORDS which you want to...why don't we do that...What actually stops us from doing that....When ever i think of it...i remember a dialogue from movie " My Best Friends Wedding"...its in the clip here...the starting of the clip the guy says them...listen to them...
This is a clip which says about love...forget love...why don't we say words...which the other person might be awaiting...
To our friends, to our colleagues, to a road side vendor...When ever we have a argument with anybody, let it be parents, friends, colleagues, subordinates, bossses, the best way we choose is either to keep quiet or move away.....why move away...why do we say afterwards...why not right then at that point of time? I get amazed when people say "he/she is angry they won't understand what you say right now, so lets speak later" don't you think that they not understanding might be your fault...I mean tommorow you return to your work might not find that person forever..that might be his last day...he might have met with an accident yesterday...then what postpone it more...call him? Don't you think by the time you actually speak the other person might have lost interest in listening to you, cause he has made up his mind that you never wanted to say anything....
I had a situtation where i repent even today one chance please...but i know i will never get it...cause i lost that person forever...So now i make a point...i feel bad..i say it that i feel bad..happy express it...anger..show it....u want to shout...shout...do it then and there...you never know what would happen the next moment...as said in the clip "the moment passes by"
Dont let it pass by..Speak speak at that moment...let the other person be there...dont let that time go...You will never get a second chance to say some thing...speak when you get the chance...Say...say those words which are deep with in you...it helps...believe me it works...