Courage - Where did it come from

Wondering why this topic all of a sudden...!!! Just a small experience of my life...

Long back i have undergone a operation..Its not about remembering the bad days or what pain I have gone through but when i think about it, i feel i had some lessons for life from that operation....

Even today when i look back at the complete journey (which of course is not yet done) i have mixed feelings about it...Some of course negative and some positive..and every time i think about it i give my best to retain only the positive feelings...

To be frank there was no body from my family who motivated or was filling courage into me...Every time i discussed i had standard questions....You decided for this...didn't you? Did you inquire about it properly? How much is the time frame for you to recover? When can you meet guys for marriage after all this like in a month?...At that point i decided forget about who is motivating who is filling courage...I will build it on my own...

First lesson...Do not wait for anybody in this world to do anything...its your life and whoever it is there are not gonna do anything....they are just looking at you with their parameters which is not wrong..so move on do it for yourself....

There were friends who stood by they always supported and they were there when operation also took place...But some times I use to get so irritated with braces and use to breakdown when i cant eat anything...They even did not know what to do...Days went by and then the final day got fixed..July 4th (American Independence Day)...I called up home to say this and they said fine....I called up almost everyone with me and some of them said take care some said we will be there and some said fine....I felt that no body is understanding whats going inside me they are not even speaking to me for some more time, at the end of the day i went to meet my doctor...he said...Do not think about anybody else..You will have to build it up on your own and you will have to face it....

Second Lesson: Anybody in your life will not be there to understand how you are feeling the only thing that is required is work done..."Is it done...Fine".."not done...Why not done?"

The Final Day: I was in a confused state of everything..getting ready for operation (wear these set of clothes, take a pill, tie your hair this way, all the things that nurse was instructing me)...At the end when i was being taken to the theater i waited that some one would pat my shoulder and say "Go on...come back with smiles" no one did that...when i was waiting in the recovery room I was wondering...that whatever the reason might be i opted for it and then i did everything from A to Z everyone is happy that i am getting it done...but why that no body is interested in standing by...I wondered that if i would have resisted for anything of the process they would have said...."I knew you cant stand for it, you took a wrong decision, i told you its a pain which you cant stand" since i was not resisting anything...the statements change...But why not encourage that thing and stand by....

Lesson 3: For anything that you have decided in your life..there might not be anybody to appreciate when you succeed but for sure there would be 100's to criticize...and that's the way the world is...So when you fall remember that the only person who is there with you is YOU....They might do something for you but then in their own way so accept that, be yourself and move on....

Even today when i look back at the whole journey i remember some things...Mangesh (guy who was operated along with me) his courage...My doctor telling me that "you were motivated enough that we could do our job perfectly"...Shalini introducing me to a patient saying "Learn courage from her"...some times i feel its that the outside world which recognizes you but people who were with you for entire life never say anything...that might be because they have accepted you...and they think that you understand them...

The process is not yet over but i have recovered back and now living a normal life...But some times i still feel that some of them are still not understanding what is left after operation is more important to handle than what is over...and this is exactly what my doctor told me the first day i met her..."Its easy to take this decision and getting it done but its difficult to take after it is over" and she of course is true... :)


Everything in life teaches you something...Even a person who drives you crazy shows you where your limits are...So i learned from this too and now i am in a full swing of putting all those in my life and enjoying it...

Priya.